Friday, April 08, 2005

America's 100 Best

Reader's Digest this week has a story on America's 100 best. It's really 100 American bests. So I'm going to make the same list. 100 of my favorites, by category.

Okay, so I first wrote the list, then had to figure out what my favorites are. After I did that I realized I needed to include the second-place pick as well, since some of these things were too good to not include on the list. So here you go:

1: Classical Composer: Grieg (Beethoven)
2: Muppet: Crazy Harry (Rowlf)
3: Game Show: Jeopardy (The Newlywed Game)
4: Vegetable: Corn (Onions)
5: Candy Bar: Tropical Almond Joy (Payday)
6: Sitcom: Seinfeld (That 70s Show)
7: Movie: Gattaca (Rudy)
8: Food: Twinkies (Croutons)
9: Superhero: The Confessor (Aquaman)
10: Number: 22 (11)
11: Color: Orange (Royal Purple)
12: Foreign Country: Madagascar (New Zealand)
13: Band: The Barenaked Ladies (Cake)
14: Smurf: Snappy (Grouchy)
15: Burger: Double Double, ksgr only (Sourdough Jack)
16: Magazine: Entertainment Weekly (Highlights for Children)
17: Book: Through the Looking Glass (Peter Pan)
18: Asian: Margaret Cho (Mao)
19: Crime: Kidnapping (Loitering)
20: Season: Autumn (Summer)
21: Elvis Song: In the Ghetto (Hound Dog)
22: Musical Instrument: String Bass (Digeridoo)
23: Insect: Mantis (Lightning Bug)
24: Spice Girl: Posh (Baby)
25: Provo Location: Vermillion Skies (Kirtland, Ohio)
26: Stephen King Novel: The Stand (Needful Things)
27: Restaurant: Chevy's (Palby's)
28: Place: Wooden Roller Coaster (Beach)
29: Gem: Orange Topaz (Emerald)
30: Famous Lesbian: Margaret Cho (Melissa Etheridge)
31: Video Game: Banjo Kazooie (The Legend of Zelda: The Ocarina of Time)
32: Comic Strip: Calvin and Hobbes (Dilbert)
33: Letter: Q (X)
34: Bird: Peacock (Emu)
35: Natural Disaster: Volcanic Eruption (Meteor)
36: Mouse: Sneezer (Chuck E Cheese)
37: Disease: Kuru (Ebola)
38: Political Party: Libertarian (Green)
39: Painting: Sistine Chapel (Last Supper)
40: American Novel: Snow Falling on Cedars (The Things They Carried)
41: Musical: Les Miserables (Once Upon a Mattress)
42: Tree: Redwood (Douglas Fur)
43: Baseball Team: A's (Giants)
44: Ice Cream Flavor: Swiss Orange Chip (Rocky Road)
45: Landmark: Golden Gate Bridge (Sphinx)
46: Merit Badge: Astronomy (Wilderness Survival)
47: Language: English (Latin)
48: Dinosaur: Iguanodon (Godzilla)
49: Disney Movie: Hercules (The Fox and the Hound)
50: Spice: Cumin (Oregano)
51: TV Show: The X-Files (Saturday Night Live)
52: Pet: Raccoon (Skunk)
53: Female Vocalist: Jewel (Sarah McLachlan)
54: Continent: Africa (Australia)
55: Cereal: Honey Bunches of Oats with Strawberries (Cracklin Oat Bran)
56: Fast Food: Chick-fil-A (Taco Bell)
57: Weather: Raining (Overcast)
58: Hair Care Product: Tea Tree Pomade (Got2b Glued)
59: President: Lincoln (Pierce)
60: Dr. Seuss Book: One Fish Two Fish Red Fish Blue Fish (Butter Battle Book)
61: Word: Zeugma (Fondle)
62: Sexual Position: Haha Just Kidding (Missionary)
63: Old Person: President Hinckley (Grandma)
64: Harry Potter Character: Lupin (Firenze)
65: Weapon: Crossbow (Candlestick)
66: Thing to Eat: Porkypines (Chickem Enchiladas)
67: Classic Rock Band: Kansas (Led Zepplin)
68: Animal: Fossa (Mosquito)
69: Fruit: Pinetree (Pomegranate)
70: SNL Alum: Gilda Radner (Tracy Morgan)
71: Root Beer: IBC (A&W)
72: Curse Word: B word (Dumbass)
73: Flower: Poppy (Sunflower)
74: Sport: Wate Polo (Football)
75: Greek God: Hermes (Poseidon)
76: Board Game: Trivial Pursuit (Scattergories)
77: Beatles Song: Nowhere Man (Elanor Rigby)
78: Hymn: How Great Thou Art (I Believe in Christ)
79: Jelly Belly: Juicy Pear (Buttered Popcorn)
80: Punctuation Mark: Elipsis (Exclamation Point)
81: Bone: Hyoid (Scapula)
82: Car: Volkswagen Bug (Porche 911 Convertible)
83: Soup: French Onion (Tomato)
84: Black: George Washington Carver (Bill Cosby)
85: Cologne: Very Sexy (Aqua di Gio)
86: Comedic Movie: Dumb and Dumber (A Christmas Story)
87: Card Game: Spades (Phase Ten)
88: Job: EFY Counselor (Movie Projectionist)
89: Category So Far: This One (Sexual Position)
90: Holiday: Easter (Thanksgiving)
91: Marsupial: Wallaby (Koala)
92: Organ: Tongue (Gall Bladder)
93: Football Player: Joe Montana (Steve Young)
94: Jam: Raspberry (Strawberry)
95: Appliance: Toasteroven (Blender)
96: Fish: African Lungfish (Tiger Shark)
97: Meat: Chipped Beef (Breakfast Sausage)
98: Soda: Hansen's Cherry Vanilla (Squirt)
99: Tool: Monkey Wrench (Mallet)
100: Actress: Catherine Zeta Jones (Nicole Kidman)


Julie said...

I'm stealing this from you. i'm kind of excited. Thanks for giving me something to do!

Mustard said...

I love your list! So the other night I was having dinner with a 50ish hippy from the bay area. I decided to do my political affiliation test on him. "A's or Giants" I asked. Didn't surprise me when he said Giants. I replied, "Then you must be a democrat." "Yes," he said "what are you." My answer..."A's."

Julie said...

Hey, everyone in my family is a Giants fan and we're all Republicans. But we're not from the Bay Area, so maybe it doesn't work that way in Sacramento. But I've watched the Giants since I was like, 2, so it's just natural for me, there is no correlation between my choice and political affiliation, it's just what I grew up with.

Christmas Smurf said...

For the record:

I am not (and will burn in hell before I'll ever be) a Republican.

The End.

The Blag Meister said...

Intriguing! And of course ... Props to the Smurf who loves Zelda games!

pinetree said...

Dude, I love this list. You have such great taste smurf... I especially liked number 69. :) :) :) And the fact that it was number 69....ha! You rock.

eleka nahmen said...

Didn't you get the memo, Smurfer? All non-Republicans WILL burn in hell. Seriously. God votes Republican. So does Jesus. What's wrong with you?

Toasteroven said...

I'm going to hell, too?! I couldn't see you saying that....*sigh*

That of course means my mom is, as well.

Smurf, I noticed the new barbed addendum to your side note of "I'm happy." Very nice.

Princess said...

I got a digeridoo in Aussie. I am practicing everyday.