Genie in a Bottle

I have finally decided what my three wishes will be when I find a genie. Go ahead, fates, and throw that magic lamp in my path. I am of sound mind and finally prepared for unimaginable fortune.

Here's the list:

1. That when I finally die, it will be by spontaneous combustion.

2. A CTL ring for my left hand.

3. That when I finish counting things, lightning will flash.

I don't think I'm asking for too much.

Dodge Ball

So I played Dodge Ball for an FHE activity on Monday at church. At one point, the other team had all the balls on its side, and my team was forced back against the back wall.

"Why are you all hiding back there against the wall?" asked an impetuous young woman who obviously had no idea how the game worked.

"Because we don't have any BALLS!" I snarled back, very loudly, and then immediately regretted it.

I should just stop saying words, I think.

Why I Don't Read the News

The reason I don't read the news is that it sometimes gives me the impulse to blow up a federal judicial building or something.

I Didnt Like How Naomi Watts Was Having Eye Sex With the Ape the Whole Time.

That's what a guy on the Internet Movie Database said. I agree completely. I bet you can't guess what movie I saw tonight. Or rather, what movie I slept through most of. BOOOOORING.

My Apologies

Our internet has been down. The landlady says we'll get more some time soon. For now, I've made a myspace profile. Check it out.

myspace.com/snappysmurf

Latest and Greatest

I started to talk about my next two weeks of efy, but then the window closed and I lost all I had typed. So I will get to it, but it may be a bit. Meanwhile, the incomparable BAWB has somehow made a terrific change to my blog that you've probably already noticed: there's music now! Over there on the side you will see the controls where you can stop the music if you'd like. There are three songs in the little playlist, so you can change it if you'd like. I thought I'd start out with one of my favorite Barenaked Ladies songs, followed by a Portuguese/English hybrid by Nelly Furtado that just makes me happy, and finally, a cover by my favorite a capella group, the Brown Derbies. I'll be changing these songs every time I update, so hopefully you can all get some exposure to music I think is great. Enjoy!

Tricky Mouse

I went to Disneyland last weekend, with reservations because of my loathing of consumerism and forced fun. When we arrived, I couldn't believe my eyes. It was worse than I had imagined. The most frequent message one sees as one walks around the park is on the sides of the garbage cans: "Waste please." At any given moment I could count four or five garbage cans bearing that message. I had known going in that I would be the target of clandestine attempts to get me to spend, but the flagrance of this message was preposterous! Only one trash can I saw bore a different message, but it was the same instruction, just less congenial: "Waste." I still struggle to believe it. The Disney Corporation has to have known what it was doing when it ordered thousands of trash cans with that message. The saddest part is that it seemed to be working; throughout the park people were paying exorbitant amounts of money on mundane objects like hats, frozen yogurts, water, and photos. People were wasting hours in lines for cheesy, boring rides. Many of them were wasting space and oxygen with their Mickey-Mouse-in-a-maze mentality (and also they were blocking my view of the fireworks). I considered dressing up as a Disneyland employee and standing at the exit gates, trying to awaken the consumers to a sense of responsibility by saying, "Thank you for wasting here at Disneyland," but I decided the effort would have been wasted.

I would just like to request that anyone in Provo who reads this blog go to Cafe Rio and look for the guy there who looks exactly like Toadie from Disney's Gummibears. Thank you.

Something Else I'm Afraid of

A Quote that Makes me Laugh

"If we were really evil, the world would have to tremble... but since we're just gay, they can just gasp in surprise."

-VenerableRyo

*the views expressed in this quote do not necessarily reflect the views held by the curator of this blog

Smurf Quiz

Toasteroven's computer has been dead recently, so not much Blog activity from me. I promise I'll catch up soon. Meanwhile, take a quiz I made about the smurfs:

Have fun!

Well

I got really cheesed off today and told the wrong people. Everyone had been wondering who would be the first to do it. Well, ladies and gentlemen, it was me. They went too far. And then I went too far. And now the smurfs are dead. Same with the Confessor and Shoebox. It really is my own fault, but I can't say that it disturbs me too much right now. As long as the Board is what it is, I don't really mind not being a part of it. It was fun while it lasted, and it may be good again in the future, but for now I want no part of it.

Carp

I'm too tired to make it coherent, I just discovered. Tomorrow, friends, tomorrow.

What a wonderful world

Today was such a great day. I hung out with my two newest friends, and it was fantastic. In the words of Horatio the great, "that is all."