Wednesday, May 03, 2006

Methinks the Smurf doth Protest too Much

So I finally found one of these causes that I felt I could get behind.

It's called "Invisible Children." We did what they call a "night commute," which means we all sleep at this elementary school. When we wake up in the morning, we are still where we were when we went to sleep, which was surprising and disappointing, because I couldn't figure out which part made it a "commute," but the whole point was protesting Ugandan children anyway, so at least we got that accomplished. No more Ugandan children! Ever!

What made the protest a particularly foolish idea for me this time was that I ate at Chili's beforehand, and I got food poisoning WAY bad. I was sleeping there in the bark box, running every hour or so to the line of port-o-potties in this mad dash, and then once I made it, diarrhea was shooting out of me like a hose with your thumb over the nozzle. My stomach felt like there were cavemen in it smashing stones together to get fire out of them. After a few trips, I was also vomiting. Oh, man, did I ever vomit all over the inside of this one Johnny-on-the-Spot. I feel bad for whoever went in there next, especially if they were in as much of a hurry as I had been, and they end up sitting in that.

Morning's light revealed that one of my own little personal "night commutes" resulted in my glasses getting trampled underfoot. So, blind, battered, and barfy, I huddled with the masses for the photograph, then ran again for the toilet.

Now here's the part that showed how delirious I must have been--every time I woke up frozen and achy and sick, I would think, "No! Ugandan children don't get to just pack up and go home when they are sick! And neither will I!"

Well, I made it all night. Yes, I did. And was so sick that I spent the next thirty-one hours in bed, and the next day after that still extra sick (I didn't even get to protest Panda Express or Mexicans having to work jobs or any of the other protests planned for that day--gulp!). But I made it. Did my night commute, yessir. And those little starving Ugandan Brats better be grateful, that's all I can say.


Anonymous said...

It just amazes me how often you barf.

Did you buy one of their bracelets? or watch the movie?

I know this is a lot to ask, but that won't stop me: Do you still read my blog? Because you are still the only one who ever really comments, and my last few blogs are sad and lonely.

It's my birthday today!! 21! Pour me a tall glass of frothy chocolate milk! Jon and I are going to Montreal for a few days for my birthday. It should be exciting. Mayb we'll call you and say bonjour. Maybe not.

Well, good luck with feeling better.

Bye now.

Vero Awesome said...

Oh man... you know if I had been there the jokes would've been overflowing, almost as much as the vomit from little Robbit's mouth. Food poisoning at Chili's??? Wtf is up with THAT!? I think you should sue them and get another million dollars, only keep it this time and then you can share it with me, yiss?

epadavito said...

I know what you mean with their being too many protests going on. I had to pass on the 'commut' because I was with no energy left after all the immigration protests and rallies I had been to. We can only do so much, or can we?

Mustard said...

Dude where's the link to the confessor?

ilaughyellow said...

"thou art much more of a man than i" she proclaimed. "though i desired with all my torn and bleeding heart to be at the commute, i did not make it nor participate."

that was a horrid blend of wannabe shakespeare and scripture.


NICE work being there though. that was a huge set up and i would have loved ot be part of the global community... people helping people. thats what its all about.

i wish everyone would go out of their comfort zone and think and HELP out someone else.

think about the change that would take place...

вџн said...

It's very late and I'm real tired. I have no idea what I just wrote, but the title of that save the little kids group by sleeping in their playground bark makes me think of some government sanctioned anti-pedophile movement.

I haven't thrown my scrumptious cookies in a thousand moons. Maybe you have a throw up disorder where you develop other sicknesses just so you can throw up to satisfy the need of the throw up disorder urge.

I really want some fruit loops. That bird is so colorful.

AttemptingthePath said...

how many people showed up to the global night commute anyway?

The Drama Queen said...

They said there were 30,000 nationwide, but we had about 300 or so here in provo.

Vero Awesome said...

Honey, now you know you don't have bad breath. So how could anyone possibly think it was you? Also, as far as the "I always thought you were gay" line, I don't think, I know. Plus, don't you know that I ALWAYS answer the phone when you call me, even if it was 7 times in a row. I'd probably swear on the seventh ring, but okay. Speaking of creepy poo-breath man, can you believe that he's actually dating someone with my first name? Eww... Talk about Swimfan. Muah! Miss your swirling vortex of evil. I mean your soul.

Anonymous said...

The CWs are confused:

Where did you go? Where do you live? How can I send those promised chocolate chip cookies if I don't know your address?

You can send me a myspace message to let us know.


hearsay smurf said...

More dirt, please!

Mustard said...

Smurfling, Here is something to protest...I don't care which side you are on, either would be fun!
Love You! M