Here are some beautiful things I've read or heard lately:
"I crack a window. I feel the cool air clean my every pore/As I pour my poor heart out/To a radio song that's patient and willing to listen/ My volume drowns it out."
--Eve 6, "Open Road Song"
"It wasn’t salad at all!! In fact, all it contained was wilted leaves with plain vinegar!! Puke! Bluah! So there I sat practically on the ground with a plate full of foul food while Smurf and BamaBeau tell me that the hippies don’t like others to waste food. "
--Wiggle, from her blog.
"HARARE, Zimbabwe - A prize-winning track athlete who competed in women's events was actually a man, a court in Zimbabwe has been told.
"Samukaliso Sithole, who competed in domestic and regional competitions, faced charges of crimen injuria, or psychological offense, in the Zimbabwean city of Bulawayo, the state-run Herald newspaper reported Wednesday. Prosecutors alleged Sithole offended the dignity and sexuality of a woman who befriended him, confided in him, and felt comfortable being naked around him, all the while believing him to be a woman, the newspaper said.
"Sithole was identified as a man to the complainant by an acquaintance, as he and a group of women were preparing to travel by train to a track meet in Bulawayo, the court heard Tuesday. Sithole tried to sprint away from the train station but was caught. Police then supervised a
"Sithole told the court he was born congenitally deformed. A tribal healer, known in the West as a witchdoctor, gave him 'female status,' but the spell didn't work properly because his family didn't pay the healer's full fee, Sithole said."
"In the quiet moments... I have seen doctors who have spent all day in surgery, or seeing too many patients quietly find a conference room, lay their heads down upon their arms and cry. Because they couldn't help that person. Or perhaps because they've missed their sons soccer game again. Perhaps just because they're bone tired. Whatever the reason, I have seen some real dedication. And it has inspired me. Even in this world of malpractice, managed care and health insurance claims, I still see people that want to help people. Who drive themselves towards excellence because they see that pursuit as virtuous in and of itself. They really do want to help people. They want to expand themselves."
"Ducking into confession with a turkey in his arms, Brian said, 'Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned. I stole this turkey to feed my family. Would you take it and settle my guilt?' 'Certainly not,' said the Priest. 'As penance, you must return it to the one from whom you stole it.' I tried,' Brian sobbed, 'but he refused. Oh, Father, what should I do?' 'If what you say is true, then it is all right for you to keep it for your family.' Thanking the Priest, Brian hurried off. When confession was over, the Priest returned to his residence. When he walked into the kitchen, he found that someone had stolen his turkey. "
--Discovered on Bawb's website
"As I kept walking I came to several other grave sites that caught my attention. One, was a 14 year old boy, with a caption similar to this: Think of me, when there is snow in big cottonwood canyon, and the sun rests on the slopes of Rock Canyon. And know this, that I am free. Another, on two girls who shared the same gravestone. July 1982 - June 1983, her sister, August 1983 - August 1983. Imagine how those parents felt... The last, was a military grave. He was 20 when he died. A sargent in the 7th infantry, he died in World War II.
"As I saw these people, young men and women that could have been my friends, or people who gave their life defending the right I had to have friends. I wondered what I was doing with my life? Why was it so hard for me to give twenty minutes a day to the Lord? Is the time he is giving me really worth it? Shouldn't one of these have had that chance to live? Wouldn't they have done more with it? And the tears came, I'm not sure what I did to deserve it, but I need to make the most of what I've been given."
--Asmond, in his blog
"I've just found a new word! Before I actually ask you my question let me explain this word. It is PROVOCITY. It comes from that big smokestack thing near campus. Someone asked one day, 'What is Provocity?' Reading together the words 'Provo City' which as you know are emblazened on the smokestack (if it really is a smokestack). The word, which I and some others have since begun using means something like the phrase 'only in Provo' which we all hear at least occasionally. It can be used in this context: 'He had the provocity to propose after dating her for only two months.' And 'It is so provocious to have 3 dates in one Saturday.' Anyway, I love this new word."
--Someone named "Websters Newest Edition" on the 100 Hour Board
"If I'm expected to be a rule breaker, and treated as if I will disregard all requests no matter what I actually do, I might as well break the rules and reap the benefits. This is why I now want to know the reasons behind rules, and the attitudes of those who enforce them. Because I don't mind being the one who does right and has to do it alone, but if what's 'right' is a lie to get at a different result, I'd rather have the freedom of knowing what the real objective is."
"Q: How do you make a cat go 'woof'?
"A: Soak it in gasoline and throw it on the fire."
--From Eleka Nahmen's Blog
"RICHMOND, Va. - Virginia lawmakers dropped their droopy-pants bill Thursday after the whole thing became just too embarrassing.The bill, which would have slapped a $50 fine on people who wear their pants so low that their underwear is visible in 'a lewd or indecent manner,' passed the state House on Tuesday but was killed by a Senate committee two days later in a unanimous vote."
"incestuous amplification n.
"The reinforcement of set beliefs among like-minded people, leading to miscalculations and errors in judgment."
"Aoccdrnig to rscheearch at an Elingsh uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoetnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer are in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a toatl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae we do not raed ervey lteter by it slef but the wrod as a wlohe and the biran fguiers it out aynawy!"
--e-mail from Merry
As I walk down the Isle
I think all along
If an Orange could smile
Could it sing a song?
Would the song be quite Happy
or would it be Mellow
Would it be sad and Sappy
Or about orange Jello
If an orange could sing as loud as could be
would a lime join in with the harmony
would the squash stand up for all to see
And the cucumbers play us a symphony
Would the prices raise, If they sang today
Fruits that sing with voice just like mine
Would we be so careless to eat them you say?
We might, if they sang all the time."
--My friend Brad Senatore
Do you see why I love language so much?