Thursday, October 13, 2005

A Patch of Good Luck

So that couple I hooked up in California? Well, they're getting married in February. And I'm to be the best man. How great is that?

The same day I found out about that, I went to Oktoberfest at the University Villa Apartments. Right when I got there they brought out a huge german cocolate cake. It was like 20 cakes side-by-side, all frosted together. They announced that there had been an engagement ring baked into it and that the guy who found it could keep it. And looking at all that chocolate, I had this feeling like Charlie Bucket, that I was going to win, because I wanted it more than the other kids. So they said "ready set go" and we all ran at the cake. And I was at the bottom of this 40-man dogpile, and everyone kept jumping on me and I got knocked back out of it. And as soon as I got knocked out, I heard someone say he had found the ring. And I was bummed, but I also remembered that Guatemalan phoney in the movie, so I jumped right back into the pile and kept feling around. I found a clump of undisturbed cake with my right hand, which was reaching in between two football players who seemed to be enjoying thrashing about more than looking for the ring. And as I stuck my fingers into it, I felt something hard. I pressed it down against the plywood the cake was on, and felt that it was distinctly a ring. I started to panick, as I could feel other hands groping about my wrist. So I clandestinely scraped the ring with my index finger all along the bottom of the board until I was free of the melee. I was standing only a foot away from the table where the emcee was standing. I stuck my chocolate-encrusted finger into my mouth, scraped the cake off the ring with my tongue, and held it aloft. The guy with the microphone announced that we had a winner, grabbed my wrist, and hoisted me up onto the table. It was all such a blur. As I was celebrating, Slugworth pulled me aside and started whispering in my ear. Except really he was working for Willie Wonka, and I just didn't know it. He told me I could bring in the ring to his jewelry shop and he'd exchange it for any ring up to $1500. So I need to do that some time this week or next. I kinda ruined my new shoes in all that cake, but I think it was worth it. They'd only been ten dollars at a thrift store right by my house.

Sunday, the Mermaid invited me over to her house after ward prayer. She kicked my butt at spit and we talked and laughed so much. It was awesome. Monday I went back over there and asked her on a date for this Friday. She said she'd been hoping I would say that. Tuesday I got a call from the Brick Oven and they said they wanted to interview me. So I went and did that, and they said they'd be able to work around my schedule. Wednesday I got the news about my efy interview for next summer. My secretary agreed to call me and remind me about it before it happens. Then I watched Brian Regan after choir practice. That man is hilarious. Thursday is today, and I just got a call from Brick oven saying they want me to start on Saturday. Everything is going great.

"Billy, I need you to clean your room."

Five minutes later: "Billy I need you to stop playing with your brother and start cleaning your room!"

Another five: "Billy! Is your room clean yet?"

Tommy: "Man, mommy always tells you to do the same things, over and over!"

Billy: "I know. Sometimes you just have to have patience with her."

That's how we get about general conference sometimes. Thanks to Asmond for inspiring that one with his comment in Sunday School. I will try to write more, but I have been very busy. See ya, kids.


buh said...

You're the canniest smurf ever!

Can you get money for that ring? Then you could buy a 'puter like the one I was drooling over for you, and you could be proclaimed a supernerd.

el veneno said...

Amazing story. I'm proud to even kind of know you.

Glad everything else is going well too. And yes, Brian Regan is hilarious.

Mustard said...

I'm still laughing at the cake dive story! I have been telling everybody I know! Glad things are going so well. You're a good kid.

Sara Bear said...

Smurfety! I like this blog a lot. I don't know why.

I love that Willy Wonka is truly the greatest parable ever, except for other ones that Christ taught, but as far as movies about candy go... that one tackles the cake.

hehe. "cake-tackler." That's an accusation.

I'm super excited that you've got a date today!! TELL ME HOW IT GOES! If you don't, I'll be totally sad.

Oh, and how convenient, you can ask her if she has need of an engagement ring that you happened to find.

So, I hope you have a great day, my friend.