Saturday, September 03, 2005

Aftermath of a Barbecue

Speaking of something else, I got food poisoning at the barbecue last Saturday. That was fine. I was just too impatient to wait for my burger to cook. The sad part was that I finally lost my cool with this female efy counselor we'll call "Butt" for several reasons I won't tell you.

Butt is the quintessential younger sibling. She pokes and prods, and pushes people's buttons like an epileptic monkey in a fighter-jet cockpit. I really can't stand her. Especially not when I have a terrible headache and am on the verge of vomiting. Anyway, I eventually had had too much. She was very childishly calling me by the shortened version of my name, which is my dad's name, which irks me to no end. It's fine if someone does it once and then stops when I tell them how much I hate it. But that wasn't the case with Butt. "Okay, ___, sorry, ___, I'll stop now ___."

My friend Germany was actually the first to say something rude to her. She pouted. "Maybe you should just take me home."

Germany called her bluff. "You don't want us to take you home. You want us to tell you we want you to stay."

Her eyebrow went up like a little kid leaning over clandestinely to see if there are any cookies left in the jar. "Well, do you?"

"Sure," responded Germany amicably.

"Yeah, I want you to hang out with us," said my other friend Dawn Treader.

I sat there without speaking.

"And what about you, ___?" she aksed, calling me once again by my dad's name.

I hesitated, then responded. "Actually, I'm done," I responded curtly. "There's only so much butt I can take and I am WAY past my quota tonight."

Dawn Treader started cracking up.

"Dawn Treader, that's not funny! He's serious!" complained Butt.

"I know, that's why it's so funny!"

Butt then leaned over and whispered to me that she hated me. Things were generally awkward between everyone after that, so we all just went home. Now, I'm okay with her thinking I can't stand her, because it's kinda true. I don't need to be around people who intend to bother me. But I still felt pretty bad about having said that, especially after I puked and started feeling better. I had just attacked her generally and not given any reasons, and that was unfair of me. So for future reference, my goal is this: If I ever absolutely have to say something rude to a person to keep them away from me, I need to at least be specific. That way they have the option of trying to fix it. What I should have said to Butt last time is, "Butt, I'm sorry. You're a funny girl, and you can say really nice things, but I feel like you're constantly trying to push my buttons. I don't like to be around people when they do that." Ah, well. You live and learn, huh?

Anyway, that's the end of a rather scattered series of posts. I hope I haven't gotten boring. It seems that my posts since the summer ended have been a lot less whimsical than the old ones. Maybe something in me died this summer. I still have to talk about all of that, I guess. And I still have to tell my new super-awesome Jennifer Ortiz story. Those are always a hoot.

iChao Pescados!


buh said...

Sometimes annoying people need to be told to shut their pie holes and to put their epilctic fingers away sometimes; butt we can't be TOO rude to butts even if they butt in and make us want to kick their butts because they won't stop talking out of their butts.

buh said...

I'm naughty.

Rock Flower said...

ah, metaphors like "She pokes and prods, and pushed people's buttons like an epileptic monkey in a fighter-jet cockpit" are inspiring, I just want to steal it.