Saturday, September 10, 2005


Banks are the bane of my existence. I hate them. And I always have, so today's incident is just another drop in the bucket.

I have a check from Dad for $100. It's drawn at his bank, which is Bank of America. I looked in the phone book to find the nearest branch, since I don't have a bank myself and would need to cash it there. Aparently they don't call them branches here, they call them forks. So I was about to call the closest Bank of America fork and realized it was actually Bank of American Fork, which is a city just north of Provo. Dumb. So it turns out there's no Bank of America around.

Blueshorts volunteered to cash the check for me if I could verify the funds in the account. So I called the automated bank teller guy and he had an option for check verification. I followed his instructions, then told him the number of the account. He repeated the account number back to me, then asked if it was correct. I assured him it was, and he told me he was sorry but he wasn't allowed to do account verifications right now. I hung up on him.

Then I called the local branch. The lady there was very friendly-sounding unless you listened to what she was saying. Between apologies she explained that she couldn't give me information on whether my dad had enough money for the check unless he were here with me. Which is stupid, because then he could have just checked his own stupid account. So then she told me that if I cashed the check and my dad didn't have the money, my bank would charge me a fine. And then she suggested that I could try one of their branches in Nevada or a neighboring state and offered to look up locations for me. I decilned her offer and hung up.

Bank of America my eye! More like Bank of America Except For Utah. What gives with this state? Crappy produce, no banks, no Jack-in-the-Box, no In-n-Out, snow, no beach, no water polo, no Round Table, no good forests. I'm annoyed.

They do have Eclipse, though. Last night's concert was awesome. They have a new member, and he really pulled his weight. The highlight was when they sang "Everybody Dance Now" and tons of twelve-year-old girls ran out there and started dancing. And then Blue Shorts and Pinetree ran up there too, making a conspicuous spectacle of themselves.

El Veneno came with us. He is really chill. I like him lots. We served in the same mission, which was weird for me because I never meet anyone who served there. Eventually I need to splain the whole Peircian semiotic color triangle thing to him, and to you, casual reader. Anyway, I hope he sticks around.

I have noticed that there seem to be a lot of people here who dislike me for some reason or another. It's a weird thing for me. I really think it has a lot to do with my frankness. Oh, well. i just live my life happily and feel markedly free of drama. It's annoying to get these little blips on the enemy radar, but if anyone has something against me, he can just tell me or he can go die. I am not going to waste my happy time tracking down everyone who feels that I hurt someone they care about because they heard some unfounded rumor. I won't be blackmailed like that. Fortunately, I have tons of friends who back me and are a major blessing in my life. I appreciate those who stick up for me even when I'm not around. In the end, I expect this miasma of hate to blow away, since the source of most of the stink is officially out of my life.

The living end? (you know what that's from, anybody?)


Sara Bear said...

"What gives with this state? Crappy produce, no banks, no Jack-in-the-Box, no In-n-Out, snow, no beach, no water polo, no Round Table, no good forests. I'm annoyed."

If you want to know what the best state is, just find where the dinosaur lives who isn't yet extinct.

The Ring Bearer said...

So, I'm not too sure where I fit (or even if I fit) into your little blurp at the end of this post, but I really hope that I'm not one of the sources of the stink that is now officially out of your life.

I also hope you don't think I'm one of the people who dislike you. Because I assure you I am not. Actually, I need to talk to you, since last night I heard that you may be upset with me for some harsh words I said in your defense over the summer, which I may or may not have had the right to say. Anyway, I'm sorry I'm so out of the loop. If it's any consolation, I spent my Friday night, and ALL day Saturday doing homework... how's that for penance to the Out-of-the-loop gods. You know you are in a bad way when your primary source of communicating with friends who live around the corner from you is either a text or an email... and yes, I have been reduced to utilizing both.

I miss all of you guys so much!! Hopefully I will find some time to escape my self-imposed prison and join you at VS or something of the sort... this all is of course assuming I'm NOT the source of the stink... I promise I will shower.

buh said...

I hate banks too. My bank took over a week to understand that I bought gas. A couple of days is bad, but eight!?

They also called me Patrick when I came in one day. They give me weird looks when I ask to cash a check. Probably because I'm gawking at the surveillance cameras and fidgeting.

And it smells weird in there, too.

Lets just invest our money in something SAFE, like gold.

pinetree said...

You know how I love the ladies. ESPECIALLY the ones that are closer to my age.


Thank goodness for cool guys like Blueshorts who will go do stuff like that with me.

blueshorts said...

I realize that your posts are more about feelings than facts, and I too was annoyed with the lack of Bank of America branches. But being a native son I feel it necessary to reply to the "What gives?" statement. (This is going to fall on deaf ears, isn't it?)I don't have an answer for the produce. Bank of America should be called Bank of America except for Utah, and the 20 other states that do not have BOA retail locations. The state has Jack-in-the-Boxes (just not in the Salt Lake area). Despite the cries of many would-be developers In-n-Out (a private, family owned firm) refuses to build in northern Utah (they are currently building an In-n-Out in St. George). I can't explain the snow. If California would just do as Nostradamus predicted (and take Nevada with it), Provo would become prime beach front property - this may also solve the snow problem. Both the University of Utah and Utah State have water polo clubs - the U's men's team was ranked #17 a few years back. When I was a lad Round Table Pizza was actually my favorite pizza place, but they were poorly managed and have now disappeared from the Utah landscape. Forests require trees, trees require water, Utah is second only to Nevada as the driest state in the Union; despite this, I might suggest a fews of the 1 million acres of land in the Ashley National Forest.
This comment, which is now ten times the length of the original complaint, is not meant to compare Utah to California (I often find myself humming "California Dreamin'", with visions of Napa's vineyards dancing in my head), but merely to answer your questions as to why we lack several of life's good things.