Wednesday, January 26, 2005

Costco Trip!

They say you're not supposed to shop when you're hungry. I did anyway. But no, gentle reader, I didn't spend too much. Something very different happens to me when I shop hungry.

Hunger brings out my grouchy side. I'm hypoglycemic, so I get low on energy very quickly, and it makes me cranky. Not so much that everybody else notices, but enough that I just walk around silently hating things.

So there we are at Costco, and I'm walking around thinking, "Man, why can't they just put a floor in here? I hate this nasty pavement. And some better lights. Skylights, maybe. These fluorescent lights bother me. Oh, man, I hate macaroni and cheese. Stupid brand names of everything--what are they trying to build a monopoly? I hate all this consumerism! Why can't I buy less than two gallons of mayonnaise!? I want pineapple slices, not pineapple chunks! What if I just want one? Why is everything connected to five more of itself!? This produce sucks! I miss California!"

I ended up with a gallon bottle of balsamic vinegar and an 8-pak of Nalley chili. The sad part is that I don't really even like those things. They're just the only things that weren't pissing me off at the time. In fact, I don't even have anything I can eat the vinegar on. What is balsamic vinegar, anyway? Is it like normal vinegar? When I eat vinegar it makes my feet stink. Well, I guess for the rest of this week I'll be eating chili with a tablespoon or three of vinegar mixed in. I'm so "special needs" sometimes, I swear.

9 comments:

Princess said...

I have lots of recipes that you could use your vinegar for. Lots. Now, about the Chili...that's a different story. Be happy...I shall cook for you and the others some day. My ultimate goal is to rid the world of hunger!

CGNU Grad said...

The key to shopping at Costco while hungry is to go when they are giving out the samples. Costco has some of the best samples... In all honesty, I try to avoid Costco if there aren't any samples out. They are the mid-shopping snacks that keep me from really hating other shoppers while I am there.

eleka nahmen said...

Consider.. chunks of homemade bread dipped in extra-virgin olive oil with a splash of balsamic vinegar. Very gourmet. Williams-Sonoma has a whole counter of bread chunks and many different types of vinegars for one's palate's pleasure. It's also what they serve at many a fine Italian restaurant.

Little Rock said...

Is Cotsto and better than Sams club? Seems to me that both are taking over the world, someday they will put all small businesses out and then devour eachother and we'll all be left with nowhere to shop. It's the end of the world as we know it, but I feel fine!

L'Afro said...

Oh my, Smurf-ish. I fully laughed out loud when I read this. A gallon of basalmic vinegar?! Maybe you could sell homemade sauerkraut. Or pickles. Or a whiff at your feet, for 10 cents a pop.

Let's just hope the world keeps on turning, when you have asphyxiated all of its inhabitants...including TO.

Anonymous said...

As instructed, I will post my mad props on the use of "gentle reader" for all to see. That was good.

azurerocket said...

Oh man, I went to Costco today and the combined IQ of everyone in the store (except me, of course :) ) was less than that of a brick. Come on, do people really not know when they are blocking the entire aisle? I avoid that place like the plaque generally on Saturdays but I had to make an emergency run. Grrrrr.

Christmas Smurf said...

You brush your teeth of it?

azurerocket said...

Ha! I'm pretty dumb sometimes. It did throw me off though, once when a kid from Canada pronounced plague "plag".