They say you're not supposed to shop when you're hungry. I did anyway. But no, gentle reader, I didn't spend too much. Something very different happens to me when I shop hungry.
Hunger brings out my grouchy side. I'm hypoglycemic, so I get low on energy very quickly, and it makes me cranky. Not so much that everybody else notices, but enough that I just walk around silently hating things.
So there we are at Costco, and I'm walking around thinking, "Man, why can't they just put a floor in here? I hate this nasty pavement. And some better lights. Skylights, maybe. These fluorescent lights bother me. Oh, man, I hate macaroni and cheese. Stupid brand names of everything--what are they trying to build a monopoly? I hate all this consumerism! Why can't I buy less than two gallons of mayonnaise!? I want pineapple slices, not pineapple chunks! What if I just want one? Why is everything connected to five more of itself!? This produce sucks! I miss California!"
I ended up with a gallon bottle of balsamic vinegar and an 8-pak of Nalley chili. The sad part is that I don't really even like those things. They're just the only things that weren't pissing me off at the time. In fact, I don't even have anything I can eat the vinegar on. What is balsamic vinegar, anyway? Is it like normal vinegar? When I eat vinegar it makes my feet stink. Well, I guess for the rest of this week I'll be eating chili with a tablespoon or three of vinegar mixed in. I'm so "special needs" sometimes, I swear.
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7 comments:
The key to shopping at Costco while hungry is to go when they are giving out the samples. Costco has some of the best samples... In all honesty, I try to avoid Costco if there aren't any samples out. They are the mid-shopping snacks that keep me from really hating other shoppers while I am there.
Consider.. chunks of homemade bread dipped in extra-virgin olive oil with a splash of balsamic vinegar. Very gourmet. Williams-Sonoma has a whole counter of bread chunks and many different types of vinegars for one's palate's pleasure. It's also what they serve at many a fine Italian restaurant.
Oh my, Smurf-ish. I fully laughed out loud when I read this. A gallon of basalmic vinegar?! Maybe you could sell homemade sauerkraut. Or pickles. Or a whiff at your feet, for 10 cents a pop.
Let's just hope the world keeps on turning, when you have asphyxiated all of its inhabitants...including TO.
As instructed, I will post my mad props on the use of "gentle reader" for all to see. That was good.
Oh man, I went to Costco today and the combined IQ of everyone in the store (except me, of course :) ) was less than that of a brick. Come on, do people really not know when they are blocking the entire aisle? I avoid that place like the plaque generally on Saturdays but I had to make an emergency run. Grrrrr.
You brush your teeth of it?
Ha! I'm pretty dumb sometimes. It did throw me off though, once when a kid from Canada pronounced plague "plag".
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