Honey Bunches of Oats

Okay, I'm turning this over to Greedy for today's post. Have at 'em, smurf!

Northern California
February 2003

I got a phone message from Ivy, my friend who worked at the survey place at the mall. She told me that I fit the demographic they needed for their newest survey, and that if I could get myself to the mall in Fairfield in the next two days, I could test a new product: Honey Bunches of Oats with Peaches. Now, you have to understand how much I love Honey Bunches of Oats with Strawberries. Those little amazing astronaut-style strawberries are the best thing since, well, I don't know. I was going to say "since sliced bread," but I don't know why people use sliced bread as a reference point. I mean, lots of better things have come out since sliced bread. Like, um, bunjee jumping, and the Beatles, and those electronic doors at the grocery store that open by themselves. Why don't they have those doors at more places, like closets or dentist's offices? But I digress.... Anyway, freeze-dried strawberries are the new flagship in my mind for saying something is the best thing since _____. That's how much I love them. So I was terrifically excited to go and test this new flavor. Oh, and to get paid fifty bucks for it, too, which I forgot to mention. Unfortunately, I couldn't get anyone to give me a ride up there. I even contemplated taking the bus, but that would still mean a five mile walk each way just to get to the bus stop. In the end, I had to let the opportunity slip me by. It made me so sad. I seriously lamented for about a week. Not only had I lost the fifty dollars, but I had lost the chance to eat a new delicious cereal and the bragging rights associated therewith. Over time, the pain faded, and I was able to let it go. The final sting came only this morning, however, as I tried the Honey Bunches of Oats with Peaches for the first time. And you know what? They're not very good. And it irks me to know that I might have been able to fix that.

The end.