Tuesday, January 25, 2005

Grouchy's Turn

While the dust settles, I think I'll turn the time over to grouchy, who's been mad about not getting a turn to say anything this whole time:

Things I hate by Grouchy Smurf

scorpions
ignorant people
green vegetables
consumerism
driving
midgets
cats
the bipartisan system
bagpipes
Everclear
puce
when Toasteroven is sad
bowling alleys
sloths
Mata Amritanandamayi
the flu
The Italian Job
shots
alcohol abuse
cops
olives
jury duty
computer stuff
seafood
spiders
Kim Corbin
farts
V8
snow
old folk's homes
caffeine
spinning rides at the fair
obesity
censorship
spiderwebs
lame Sunday school lessons
Monopoly
seat-belt laws
Satan
Boy's Life magazine
etiquette
unwanted hugs
bills
the Pope
varicose veins
peppermint
Hawaiian culture
Christmas lights
brain freeze
helplessness
wedding receptions
lasagne
swearing
postmodernism
pregnancy
disembodied hands that crawl
brown urine
milk
the death penalty
poker
Julia "Butterfly" Hill
missing Divine Comedy
Listerine
mirrors

That's all for now.

Wow, Grouchy. Glad you could get that out.

7 comments:

Princess said...

We need to talk.

Serendipity said...

Dude, those are some good things to hate. Here are ones that popped out to me and that I agree with: green vegetables, cats, "The Italian Job", cops, olives, seafood, SNOW, old folk's homes (I get really nervous for some reason), spinning rides at the fair (actually, I just stopped going to the fair altogether), unwanted hugs, wedding receptions (especially if you're in the line), milk (I do soy), the death penalty, Listerine, and mirrors. Every time I look into a mirror, I get really freaked out. I'm all worried I'll see some psycho person on the other side!

Uffish Thought said...

Have you ever seen the play "The Curious Savage?" YOu remind me of a character in it right now. I think her name was Paddy, or something. Her lines generally went a lot like this. " I hate this and this and hate this and this and hate this and this and this...I hate everything in the world, but most of all I hate THIS." In fact, there's only one line of hers I can remember that was different, and she had a hard time switching gears.

L'Afro said...

You've got me thinking. I think I won't swear around you ever again. Why? Because it's unladylike and vulgar and common and anybody can do it. Though the emphasis and shock value of a well-placed expletive is invaluable, I think you need not hear me say it, Smurfy.

So, I think I'm going to stop now.

Christmas Smurf said...

Sweet. I'm glad you realize it's only decent and dignified and lady-like to swear around everybody else :P

Little Rock said...

For some reason I dont feel like Grouchy Smurf and I are very compatible.....sniff....sniff....

L'Afro said...

I changed my mind. I think you're a poo-face, Grumps.