Snappy Answers

I feel like giving you people something new to read, but I don't have it in me to write anything today. So, I dredged up some of Snappy Smurf's answers (along with the questions anonymous people asked in the first place) from the Hundred Hour Board. Here you go:

QDear 100 Hour Board,
Is there hope for me?
- a man who needs a date

ADear man,
Sadly, I heard that Hope got engaged in July. You can check out her sisters, though. Faith and Charity. Both still very available.
--Snappy

ADear needy,
If I were you, I'd pray for Charity. She's the greatest of the three, anyway. Faith is kinda high maintenence. A relationship with her takes a lot of work, or it just dies. And I guess Hope really is once again single. I theard they called her on a mision, though....
--Jokey

QDear 100 Hour Board,
In the past month and a half, I've had two bugs fly into my eyes. Seriously. The first time this happened was on Heleman Hill on my way to the Tanner Building, and the second time was today between the SWKT and the construction site. I never really got a good look at the bugs when they were whole, and only saw them as black globs after removing them from my eye. I'm wondering:
(1) what type of bugs are these; they seemed like the same kind both times.
(2) has this ever happened to anyone else?
(3) should I be afraid of infection or other optical health problems? There didn't seem to be any problems after the first time, and that was several weeks ago. But the second time was today, and I'm a little worried.
(4) Is there anything that I can do to prevent this in the future? By the time I realize there's a bug flying at my face, if reflexes haven't already done something, it's too late.
- Blinded by the flight

ADear Blinded by the flight,
(1)Dead ones.
(2)Probably.
(3)No.
(4)



















--Snappy

QDear 100 Hour Board,
Where can I learn how to play the harmonica? Does the director of the Philharmonic Orchestra teach people?
- Happy feet

ADear Happy Feet,
Far away from me!
--Snappy

QDear 100 Hour Board,
this is what the board seems like its doing lately
Q: (i have a question about your opinion on a certain matter)
-reader
A: dear reader(my point of view is correct and yours is wrong as well as anyone else who disagrees with me and this is a fact)
-writer

ADear nobody,
this is what your question seems like to me
Q:(Kowtow to me. I am so witty and right that you Board writers will have to really think hard about how to answer this one! If I tell you your'e mean, you have to be nice when you answer)
-no name
A:(no, we don't. If someone asks us for our opinions, we're going to give them to him, and guess what? We believe our opinions. Yep, that's right. We're going to stand up for them. In short, you are wrong, and anyone who disagrees with me is too. And there should be two spaces after a colon [or at least one], and your parentheses are superfluous)
--Snappy

QDear 100 Hour Board,
Why did they get rid of the tree of life showers at the MTC?
- Naked Nostalgia

ADear Naked Nostalgia,
There were some elders who were just "different," whether due to choices made by their parents or to nature. I'll bet it was one of those elders who came back and instituted a change. Either that, or one of the stateside-bound elders my companion used to pee on while they were shampooing. I feel sorry for all of those people, as well as the fat kid, Tattoo Guy, Scars, and the Sasquatch. And all of us who had to see those people naked every day for nine weeks.
--Snappy

QDear 100 Hour Board,
Tell me the most interesting thing you can possibly tell me. This better be good and I if I've heard it before I shall...do something bad to small rodents.
- Curious and Dangerous

ADear Curious and Dangerous,
I was about to tell you the most amazing thing I've heard ever, but then I remembered how much I hate small rodents.
--Snappy